Thursday, December 13, 2012

The "Wisdom" of the Wrong-Wing.

America's Bane at Bain.

How lucky are we that the Republicans lost the election? Well look at the crap that pours from their mouths.

"Hello. I am extremely stupid and enormously ignorant. Vote for me!"

“…the very founders that wrote those documents worked tirelessly until slavery was no more.”
~ Michele Bachmann, Speaking to Iowans For [Rich People's] Tax Relief about the framers of the Constitution, who fought that Revolutionary War to free the slaves. Not THEIR slaves, of course. Jefferson kept his slaves until he died, but you know, they were all for Freedom --- for land-owning white males.

Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn’t even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas.”
~ Rep. Michelle Bachmann. So let's lock her in a room and pump it full of CO2. After all, it's not harmful.

"I'm rich! You're not! HA-ha!"

"Corporations are people, my friend… of course they are. Everything corporations earn ultimately goes to the people. Where do you think it goes? Whose pockets? Whose pockets? People’s pockets. Human beings, my friend.”
~ GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney. He means specifically HIS pockets, as though he were human.

“Exercise freaks … are the ones putting stress on the health care system.”
~ Rush Limbaugh, fat drug addict.

Mr. Health.
"Drug users not named 'Limbaugh' should all go to prison!"

“Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”
~ George W. Bush. Ignoring for a moment "Families is" rather than "Families are" from an alleged Yale graduate, don't you love it when Wings take Dream? (Is that what Wings took? Let's ask Sir Paul.)

“From time to time there are going to be things that occur that are acts of God that cannot be prevented.”
~ Texas Governor Rick Perry, on the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, in 2010, explaining why he worships BP as "God."

"I may be an asshole but at least I'm stupid."

Go back to what our founders and our founding documents meant — they’re quite clear — that we would create law based on the God of the bible and the Ten Commandments.”
~ Sarah Palin. Do you think she just believes that since she never read The First Amendment (or anything else), no one has? She was right about one thing here though, the Founding Fathers were "quite clear" on the matter.

“Grown men should not be having sex with prostitutes unless they are married to them.”
~ Jerry Falwell. So unless you're a teenager (Or a TV evangelist), if you want to patronize a hooker, divorce your wife and marry the whore, or just screw a free slut. At least he's now okay with wives having jobs.

“I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy — but that could change.”
~ Dan Quayle. Yup, especially if we elect Republicans.

“I get speaker’s fees from time to time, but not very much.”
~ Mitt Romney, who earned $374,000 in speaking fees in one year according to his personal financial disclosure. In his defense; $374,000 is Mitt's idea of "not very much money."

"We're against gay marriage also. We're douchebags."

"I hope that’s not where we’re going, but you know if this Congress keeps going the way it is, people are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I’ll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.”
~ Nevada GOP Senate candidate Sharron Angle, proposing the murder of Senator Harry Ried in a radio interview. This is what is called a "crime".

  “I know how hard it is for you to put food on your family.”
~ George W. Bush. Well, the little buggars won't hold still while he spreads the peanut butter on them.

“I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn’t study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.”
~ Dan Quayle. Certainly he needed to study something harder in school. The Republicans thought he should be president.

"If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president.” ~ Ann Coulter. How about we meet her halfway, and just not let Ann Coulter vote?

Ann Coulter's Driver's License photo.
  “My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you’ve got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better.”
~ South Carolina Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, explaining why his state's poor residents should just be allowed to starve to death. This what they're talking about when they say "Compassionate Conservative." (A Compassionate Conservative is one who feels the super-rich's pain.)

“Our nation was founded on violence. The option is on the table. I don’t think that we should ever remove anything from the table as it relates to our liberties and our freedoms.”
~ Teabagger-backed Texas GOP congressional candidate Stephen Broden, suggesting the violent overthrow of the U.S. government if Republicans don’t win at the ballot box, interview with Dallas’s WFAA-TV, Oct. 21, 2010. The common term for this is "Sore Loser." The legal term for this is "Treason Against the United States of America."

"'Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up.’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too. Got to celebrate it!’”
~ Sarah Palin on why she's like Shakespeare. Let's lock her in one room and lock 1000 monkeys in another room, and see which writes Hamlet first. My money is on the monkeys.

“She’s not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of a President. And besides, she has cancer.”
~ Newt Gingrich being "presidential" about his then-wife. He's so right. First Ladies are required by The Constitution to be hot. Just ask Eleanor Roosevelt and Barbara Bush.

People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive for 1941.
  “The Federal Department of Education should be eliminated. The Department of Education is unconstitutional and should not be involved in education, at any level.”
~ Sharron Angle, July 12, 2010, who clearly has never been involved in education at any level, especially "receiving."

“The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”
~ Pat Robertson. Damn! He's seen through our clever ploy! DOH!

“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”
~ Rush Limbaugh. Volunteering to be a target, Rush? (He's never heard of "disassembling"?)

Rush Limbaugh on disarmament.

“There are hundreds and hundreds of scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes, who believe in intelligent design.”
~ Michele Bachmann. Sadly, none of them have names. And the ones holding Nobel Prizes had to give them back to the actual scientists they belonged to when they came back to the table from the washroom. She doesn't seem to grasp what a "scientist" is. Michele, your pastor is not a "scientist."

"These are beautiful properties, with basketball courts, bathroom facilities, toilet facilities. Many young people would love to get the hell out of cities”
~ Carl Paladino on housing poor people in prisons. No, prisons are too nice for poor people. Let's house Republicans in them.

The Republican Social Safety Net.
"They [Republicans] say, ‘You’re too conservative.’ Was Thomas Jefferson too conservative?"
~ Nevada GOP and Teabagger favorite Sharron Angle, March 21, 2010. No, Sharon, Thomas Jefferson was not "too conservative." He was a liberal. Just ask King George III.

"I'm tired of some people calling me wacky."
~ Teabagger heartthrob Sharron Angle, also on March 21, 2010. Then I suggest she shut up.

“Trees cause more pollution than automobiles.”
~ Ronald Reagan, who stands by his words, and has refused to breathe that poison Oxygen for years now.

Friggin' Polluter!

“We have a lot of work to do. It’s a very hard struggle, particularly given the situation on the Iraq-Pakistan border.”
~ Senile old man John McCain. The "Situation" being that there is no "Iraq-Pakistan border."

Pakistan? Hello, Pakistan? Where are you? I see Mordor, but not Pakistan.

“We need to execute people like (John Walker Lindh) in order to physically intimidate liberals.”
~ Ann Coulter. The sole good thing about Ann Coulter is that she's such an OPEN thug. She celebrates her own being subhuman.

"Evil? Moi?"
“Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease.”
~ "President" George W. Bush. Is Africa's "incredible" disease "incontinence"? Because it's a continent.

“What people recognize is that there’s a fear that the United States is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China, the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union and our loss militarily going forward.”
~ Michele Bachmann, apparently unaware that the Soviet Union collapsed more than two decades ago. And something must be done to stop that Austro-Hungarian Empire! And those Etruscans will be trouble one day also!

Pound-Foolish, the Lying Clown.

Well, they lost. Why not celebrate with a nice new copy of Tallyho, Tallulah!? The perfect stocking stuffer. Cheers, darlings.

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