I do not like that loud Jim Carrey.
I'd rather wed a swishing fairy.
(And I should know of what I say,
As half my husbands were quite gay.)
His Horton makes me cry out "Ugh!"
I'd rather see him played by Doug.
Into Doc Suess he's sunk his hooks,
Now children will not read those books.
If animated Suess kids need,
There's a swell cartoon with Hans Conreid.
It did not maul nor broadly pander,
So why not give that film a gander?
It's on a DVD, a cinch,
Along with Karloff's lovely Grinch.
To make the sequel more than paltry,
Why not starring Roger Daltry?
I love that darling singing pommy,
Who starred in that rock opera Tommy.
If you'd prefer a diff'rent fellow,
How about Abbott and Costello?
If Bud and Lou will still cause friction,
Why not try some science fiction?
'Cause when Jim Carrey leaves you bored,
Instead we'd have a smart Time Lord.
Mike Myers and Carrey are smart alecks,
But Doctor Who can kill the Daleks!