The 7 Dwarfs of Dr. Lao.

I happened to rewatch Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs last night, since the only other choices were 9-11 remembrances, and frankly, I remember it vividly enough as it is without further reminder. It's not like it's a pleasant memory one enjoys lingering over.

But of course, Snow White is a pleasant memory one enjoys  lingering over, and as I lingered over it, some random thoughts occurred to me.

Oh please. Grumpy is sooooo gay.



When Snow White first identifies Grumpy, his bed is visible in the background, as it is in Doc's close-ups in that scene also, a sheet has been left hanging over the "G" in Grumpy's name on the foot of the bed, so his name is seen as "Rumpy". Like I said, Gay.

The first time Little Dougie saw it, when he was 5 in 1955, he knew Grumpy was his dwarf, and he's grown up to be the tall, not bald, small-nosed version of him, only grumpier.


                                     

I want some of what Dopey is smoking.

Why don't woodland creatures ever clean my home! Frankly, neither Snatches, my kitty, nor Baskerville, my mastiff, ever clean up anything except for Baskerville lapping up my vodka spills. My staff spend most of her time cleaning up after the beasties.

Why aren't the dwarfs wealthy, given they own "a mine where a million diamonds shine"? How do they market their product?

Ew. Didn't these creep out kids at Disneyland in the 1950s?

If Snow White really were dead, as the dwarfs believed when putting her in her glass coffin, how good an idea would that see-through bower be a couple years later? Ew! Instead of "Snow White," she'd soon have turned into "Demon-Vomit Green".


Who wants to marry a man given to making out with random female cadavers he encounters? Necrophiliacs are not good husband material. (And what's with how charmed everyone was with a Disney movie that has seven gay men living together, sleeping in pushed-together beds, and ends with animals and circus freaks killing an old lady, followed by necrophilia? Mind you, the older I get, the more I depend upon the kindness of necrophiliacs.)

The Queen is dead, and Snow White has gone off to help rule the Prince's realm. Who is the new head of the government where Snow White came from?

Why does the Queen have no staff whatever besides a huntsman and a mirror? Really. There is NO ONE ELSE in that castle! No wonder Snowy has to do the housework.

I want that peacock-themed throne! This is what all the toilets at NBC looked like back in the 1960s. (This still is from Disney's sequel: 7 Brides for 7 Dwarfs, in which I starred as the Queen. For a full description of this memorable forgotten Disney animated classic, see my previous flog posting: Feeling Grumpy.)

Why is Dopey's head three times the size of Snow White's? Hydrocephalic? (It would explain so much.) As a small kid, I thought she sang "Some Day My Prints Will Come" and that she was singing about waiting to get photos back from the drugstore.

If the dwarfs can't even remember the last time they washed, why do they have several bars of soap waiting at the trough?

Why are queens always scarier than witches? Sometimes Little Dougie scares the crap out of me. Cheers darlings.