Worst turn of events in BB history. I have no jokes right now, I'm still too filled with rage. That COWARDLY ASSHOLE Kalia lost all her balls, and blew Voldebitch's eviction. Thanks to her utter lack of fortitude or brains, instead of being rid of Voldebitch, we have Bukie BACK!!! That MORON Lawon votes himself out of the house, convinced that this week the eviction would just be a formality before being granted superpowers. IDIOT! (Good riddance. Incidentally, Lawon is finally ready to start PLAYIN' this game!) If they had voted out Voldebitch, she would have had to play against Bukie, and we would only have ONE of them in the house. ASSHOLES! ASSHOLES!! ASSHOLES!!!
Now Voldebitch will not only be filled with joy over having Bukie back, but she'll think a million Americans love him and her. She'll stop feeling worthless and unloved. She SHOULD feel worthless and unloved, because she IS worthless and HATED!!!!
I have not been this disgusted by America since the 2004 presidential election. Who the fuck voted for BUKIE?? I want names! All the names, so they can be killed! I'm assuming only four people voted for him (as how many family members who can work a telephone can he have?), and they all just pressed "Redial" 250,000 times each. To every person on earth who voted for Bukie: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID, EVIL FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!! And anyone who voted for Bukie is unwelcome here.
I don't know what a conniption fit is, but I'm guessing this is what they mean by it.
And for this I missed seeing that nobody Tim Pawlenty try to make an identity for himself by calling Michele Bachmann names on TV. I love hearing Bachmann called names. She's the only woman in America who is worse than that evil, horrible fucking BITCH, Voldebitch!
Can you tell that I am genuinely angry?
Now Voldebitch will not only be filled with joy over having Bukie back, but she'll think a million Americans love him and her. She'll stop feeling worthless and unloved. She SHOULD feel worthless and unloved, because she IS worthless and HATED!!!!
I have not been this disgusted by America since the 2004 presidential election. Who the fuck voted for BUKIE?? I want names! All the names, so they can be killed! I'm assuming only four people voted for him (as how many family members who can work a telephone can he have?), and they all just pressed "Redial" 250,000 times each. To every person on earth who voted for Bukie: FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID, EVIL FUCKING ASSHOLES!!!! And anyone who voted for Bukie is unwelcome here.
I don't know what a conniption fit is, but I'm guessing this is what they mean by it.
And for this I missed seeing that nobody Tim Pawlenty try to make an identity for himself by calling Michele Bachmann names on TV. I love hearing Bachmann called names. She's the only woman in America who is worse than that evil, horrible fucking BITCH, Voldebitch!
Can you tell that I am genuinely angry?
33 comments:
OMG! I am totally pissed off as well. Maybe people voted for Bukie so that they could watch him and Boobiac fight it out to return into the house? Who the fuck knows? People are stupid!
At least Danielle won HOH, so hopefully she will put Boobiac and Bukie back on the block. I hope she isn't dumb enough to make an alliance with them.
I am not happy either. I voted and wanted Cassi to come back. I think she would have won that competition. Maybe they should just have everyone live in a bowling alley instead of a house. Is this the third comp involving rolling balls? I agree with Lana that thank goodness Daniele won HOH. Now, lets hope she goes after them and gets rid of at least one of them again. Ugh!
I'd have been perfectly happy to have Cassi back. Now it's like the last two weeks were just erased, except for losing Lawon, and he was barely there in the first place, and frankly, where ever he is, he's not all there.
So back to square one, and we have to get Bukie out all over again. I knew they'd have to compensate for losing Evel Dick before a week passed, since it threw the whole season eviction schedule off, but bringing back Bukie was a HORRIBLE way to handle it.
I knew Bukie was coming back as soon as I learned he had won the vote (which I learned a couple hours before the broadcast). There was no way Lawon could beat Bukie at ANYTHING! Lawon couldn't win a competition even if he played unopposed.
Maybe we should tune in CBS's The Early Show, so we can hear Lawon tell whomever intereviews him that he is ready to start PLAYIN' this game!
I know you are angry but I did laugh out loud at your headline. Nice that you can just say/write what you mean in your blog, f words and all. Because we're all feeling it too.
You feel like, as a viewer, you have some momentum as the season goes on in getting people that are so unlikeable out of your sight and then they do twists like this. It's the veterans from Hell season. Survivor has also managed to drag their most annoying veterans into more and more unbearable screen time.
THE only redeeming factor is that Dani won HOH so there might be a chance in hell of a back door or direct eviction of "those that shall not be named" (mostly because I have too much bile in my mouth right now to say their names without spewing)
I would have laughed at Lawon's unanimous eviction if he had been up any other week previously. This week he just exacerbated an already painful to watch show.
I direct all my disdain toward Kalia. Stupid and clueless. Her yammering on about how she would get back in the good graces of lunkhead Jeff and Jordumb by putting Lawon up on the block. Incredible. She has to take the prize for most stupid contestant on Big Brother ever!
I KNEW this was going to happen. I just knew these stupid ass viewers would vote for him to come back. Why? I still don't really get it. I agree that the worst part is that it makes Rachel think America loves them; if anything, America loves what a complete and total disaster they are. All week I was assuming it would be Bukie that came back, I was just SO hoping they would evict Rachel because watching her realize she had to battle her fiance (did you know they were engaged?) to get back in would be just the right remedy for having to endure one of them again.
Also, I think Lawon really is ready this time...
Lawon looked like he was in a state of shock after the twist competition last night. Poor guy actually thought he had a shot at winning BB13!
Did the producers of BB have it in their heads that they were going to have a "worst v. The Most Annoying" season. What happened to this show. I hope they "fix" it next season. But they won't. They will find another way to trash the original concept of the show.
I only watch "Big Brother" because I got hooked on Tallulah Morehead's hilarious "Survivor" commentaries on Huffington Post. So, I was hoping for more witty stuff today and not a conniption fit -- which is exactly what it is, BTW. And totally understandable. I actually hoped cute little Dominic would come back, but then I am always appalled and never surprised by what idiot "America" votes for. As for the "reality" of all this stuff -- well, just where were the four evictees "sequestered" I wonder, and how on earth could Regan (Tallulah -- you do not mention this horror!) from last season become so love-dovey with the henna-headed Medea and her nitwit future cancer-curing Ph.D. lover. Selective editing no doubt makes everybody look even worse than they really are. I am certain CBS engineers everything and they are delighted to have this silly, awful couple back in the house. WE are hooked.
Pablo Diablo, I must agree with you, both about Kalia, and about Lawon's post-loss state of shock. He was so CERTAIN he was going to go out and turn right around and come back, maybe with a "superpower", like eviction was completely meaningless, instead of only partially meaningless. His stupidity is boundless, and dwarfs the hideous "style sense(less)" which was all they had to ballyoo when this bozo first appeared on our TV screens a month ago.
As his grandmother requested, Lawon is the best black man HE could be. Sadly, he's not capable of being much of a gay black man, or much of anything else. At least he still has how badly he dresses.
Apparently the early evictees were all sequestered on Resurrection Island with Dr. Jesus.
Certainly Voldebitch vs Bukie would have been more entertaining than Lawon lies down and dies as Bukie tramples over him, but then, wouldn't Bukie have to stay consistent, and deliberately throw the competition for Voldebitch? (Notice, no one, NO ONE, least of all Voldebitch herself, ever even suggests that SHE throw a competition to save him.)
Dave #2, sorry I'm not up to witty snuff this column. Usually I spend some 5 to 8 hours working on columns (which is why they come so seldom. They're a lot of work, for which I receive nil), but last night I was just so enraged that I spewed that out, literally in ten minutes, and then tried to salve my anger watching the finale of So You Think You Can Dance on the DVR, which has also had a lame season this summer.
I wasn't doing a full recap, just bitching about the turn of events, so I left out all mention of Regan, as I did my best to forget that segment as soon as it ended. If there is anyone we do not care about this summer, it's Ragan and Mr. Mensa. Old contestants, go do Amazing Race and leave me alone, and that goes for all the annoying returnees this season. (Casey, you're the exception that proves the rule.)
Some of the Survivor returnees I enjoyed. I am not a Boston Rob hater, and enjoyed watching him turn a entire tribe into his mind zombies all last season. (Grant took his betrayal seriously. They still haven't made up. Grant was genuinely emotionally hurt by realizing that Rob was just playing him as he was playing everyone else. he forgot that Rob, like himself, was there to win it himself. Fool. He comes from professional football, a team sport, where all work together to win, and form close bonds in the process.Survivor has tribes that play LIKE teams, but it's an individual game, and your teammate is just as out to beat you as the other team is. Grant totally forgot that.)
But after last season, I never wanted to set eyes, and even worse, ears, on Voldebitch again - EVER! And I 100% agree that the worst of this is that Voldebitch will think now that America loves her, not reaizing that there is nothing loveable about her. America likes whores with hearts of gold, but crazy whores with hearts of brass we loathe. I liked her better when she was sobbing in self-pity that Amercia hates her. Yes, we do.
I am convinced that the vote was not America hitting Bukie's "Like" button. It was pure Sadism, "America," choosing who would torture the houseguests the most, the same drive that gets people to phone in votes for vile concoctions for the Have-Nots to eat. The difference is that the wretched foods only torture the players. Returning Bukie to the house, and retaining Voldebitch tortures ME!
America gave us eight, yes eight years of Dubya, so I'm not surprised they forced Bukie on us.
Kalia, Kalia, Kalia. Spineless and star-struck. As much as Bukie and his Bukette annoy me, this is the punishment that Kalia deserves (and to a lesser extent, Dani) for having no backbone. Dani set the plan in motion by sending Bukie home the previous week. All Kalia had to do was follow the plan and assure that Bukette went home by nominating Jordan to replace Jeff after the POV competition. Even with the twist, it would've assured that one of them went home.
Ahh, but when you're desperate to be liked by "America's Sweethearts," you're more than willing to shoot yourself in the foot in the hopes that your fantasy friends will continue to like you. Even if it flies in the face of reality.
Which brings us to Shelly the Straight Shooter. That Kalia could be so easily swayed by the Straight Shooter's argument, that started off as kind of a joke, only further cements her place in the BB Hall of Stupid. As far as Lawon is concerned, that brother has some serious issues.
Tallulah, you may hold me in contempt for what I'm about to say. But I think Dani needs to get into a secret alliance with Mr. and Mrs. Bukie to take out J&J, the Straight Shooter and Adam, all the while keeping Porsche and Kalia around so that she can then vote out the Bukies.
Michael: Interesting points. I don't see Dani aligning with the Brenchwreck at all. I think her hatred of Rach-hell is cement. It would be an interesting turn however. Now, doesn't Khalia write a love advice blog? Where? Has anyone read any of her stuff? Does her appearance on BB give any indication of the quality of her writing?
I don't know what is going on now. I just read who was nominated and read what people who watch the feeds write. Did Dani actually make a deal with Bukie and Boobiac? Christ, this is so annoying! If anyone has the feeds, or Ms. Tallulah, with your inside information, please explain this to me.
Jordumb and Homophobic Asshole suck, but Bukie or Bukette (thanks Michael for that name) need to leave before them.
P.S. I love that there is Dave and Dave #2 in San Diego!!
Tallulah,
Btw, since you are no longer getting paid by the place we do not mention, I just ordered 'My Lush Life' on Amazon, because you should be paid.
I found you during Casey's season and enjoyed your recaps. I always wanted to order your book, so I finally just did it. This is my way of saying thanks for the recaps and having the conniption fits that we all are having.
I cannot wait to read your book. I used to be an avid book reader, but have recently slacked. The last book I read was 'They Call me Baba Booey', which was a great one. I even got it signed by Baba Booey. He was in Chicago, at a bookstore around the block where I live.
Keep up the goos work!
*good, not goos.
Michael, I agree with all of your points except your last paragraph. Dani should remain single-mindedly focused on getting rid of Voldebitch. This may not be the right move for her game, but it's the right movie for getting that whore off of my TV.
Lana. I wasn't paid at The Huffington Post either. none of the bloggers there are paid. A number of them left when Arianna sold it and made millions from the unpaid labors of we who saw not a cent of it. That is not why I left. (And my Emmy Award Show review may still run there next month. We'll see.) I left rather than allow butchering of my columns. If they want to edit me, they have to pay me. My "pay" came in increasing the size of my book readership, which brings me to:
Thanks for buying my book. Hope you enjoy it. Many have found it amusing in spots, but just the spots between the front cover and the back cover.
Beyond finding out who won HOH after the broadcast Thursday, I have been avoiding the feeds and spoilers, so I do not know whom Dani nominated. I need to get SOME entertainment from the broadcasts, not just endure the torture of continued exposure to Booboiac, so I try to preserve some suspense for myself.
I have no idea who "Baba Booey" is. A cartoon character?
Tallulah,
(I figured you wouldn't like that last point.)
Baba Booey is a nickname given to the producer of The Howard Stern Show. He messed up the name of the cartoon character, Baba Looey, and fans of the show have called him Baba Booey ever since.
Tallulah-
Can't you get a Paypal "donate" button or something? I'd pay for this.
Lisa Tolbert
"Michael said...
Baba Booey is a nickname given to the producer of The Howard Stern Show."
That explains why I don't know him. I'd rather have nails driven into my ears than listen to Stern.
Tallulah,
We may not agree about Stern, but at least we agree about Big Brother!!
Looking forward to your next post.
Cheers!
Lana: You should read the other book advertised here: "Creatures Of The Night That We Loved So Well." It is an amazing history of horror show hosts mainly in the LA area. Myself, I used to stay up till 3 AM to see all of Seymour's routines. They were absolutely hilarious. I wish there were some tapes somewhere of his show. Light years funnier that today's SNL. I really miss that "Slimey Wall."
does anyone really have access to 'America's voter registration slips'? I would have believed America would have voted for Dominic - it doesn't make sense. how much more exciting to have Dominic come back to aid Danielle to the finish or at least to the final 4 with Jeff and Jordan...am I the only to see Boobiac on an episode of Bridezilla? truly...
"Dave in San Diego said...
Lana: You should read the other book advertised here: "Creatures Of The Night That We Loved So Well." It is an amazing history of horror show hosts mainly in the LA area. Myself, I used to stay up till 3 AM to see all of Seymour's routines. They were absolutely hilarious. I wish there were some tapes somewhere of his show. Light years funnier that today's SNL. I really miss that "Slimey Wall."
So does Little Dougie. Dougie wrote the Fright Night With Seymour TV Show the last year it was on the air, and was a friend of Larry "Seymour" Vincent. In fact, Dougie's lengthy essay on Seymour, which fills 20 pages of that book, first appeared in this blog. All those Seymour pictures Dougie contributed to that book appear in his posting of it here in color.
http://tallulahmorehead.blogspot.com/2007/10/mister-halloween.html
Natalie, I believe I referred to Boobiac as Bridezilla in my last column's title. I wouldn't "see" her on Bridezilla, as nothing could get me to watch that show, just whatever clips from it make it to The Soup.
Dave, here is all the video of "Seymour" known to still exist. It surfaced when someone read the book and contacted Little Dougie to say he had this one clip. It's a blooper outtake, only 58 seconds long. Ironically, it survives because it was a foul-up, while all the thousands of bits he did that went perfectly are lost, or exist only as audio tapes, and in the scripts Dougie still has.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvS9XAr0uZA
TM: Wow, thanks a million times over for the link to the Seymour clip. I remember when I lived in the San Fernando Valley, on Parthenia St. A real crappy area near Tampa. I am assuming you know some Valley geography here. I scraped together my last few cents and rode my bicycle all the way over to what was then the Topanga Theatre to see Seymour live presenting a showing of Night of the Living Dead. He did not disappoint. He was one of a kind really. Lots of fun watching his show.
Oh, I know my valley geography. Little Dougie lives in Reseda. Talk about "crappy area"!
TM" What is Little Dougie doing in Reseda? You have to get him out of there. I went to Cleveland High school. I didn't show up half the time. There used to be a pizza place: Morigi's.
Tallulah, I just read Little Dougie's post about his friend, Larry Vincent. It sounds like that was such an enjoyable part of his life. It is a testament of true friendship that the pain of loss is still around so many years later.
Dave in San Diego, I am sure that was a big treat reading about Dougie's time with Seymour!
I firmly believe that the 'vote' was controlled by the producers who wanted this outcome... to produce the revulsion, dismay and hopelessness that we all are feeling.... Also, I think there will be another twist and Shelly will be revealed to be a man.... just sayin'....
Fundy, manipulating the vote like that on a game show is a felony. You might want to watch how you accuse folks of felonies. CBS can afford better libel lawyers than you can. The FCC has people on all game show productions, closely monitoring for such cheating. Brendon's return is due to idiots and Sadists who know how to hit "redial." However, about Leatherface being revealed as a man, you may well be right. I think she might actually be Jack Palance.
Dave in San Diego, I forwarded your comments on Creatures of the Night That We Loved So Well to the author, Jim Fetters, and he has replied:
"Thank you for sharing that! You just topped off my perfect day!! I'll email you in a bit... gotta send Ghoulita the url's for the book! Yes, just got off the phone with Lietta... found her again. She had moved out of San Diego a few years ago! More later, thank you my friend! ~Jim.."
no seriously Tallulah; I have seen her in promos for the show and the first few times I wasn't sure...and then it hit...so I know u call her that but I am pretty sure she is also on at least one episode choosing a dress.
I knew they'd have to compensate for losing Evel Dick before a week passed, since it threw the whole season eviction schedule off, but bringing back Bukie was a HORRIBLE way to handle it.
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