Monday, May 16, 2011

Grant, I'll "Comfort" You.

The big news in the Survivor finale? Grant's haircut! He fixed his only appearance flaw, and looked GREAT!

But he proposed to his wife when he got off the plane, still bereft over Rob breaking his heart? And they rushed into marriage before he could sober up? And now he's still miffed at Rob for toying with his affections, and staying (so far) in this sham of a marriage. Obviously, it's a "Rebound Marriage". It won't last. Grant darling, when it falls apart, as it will, I'm here to comfort you.

If I were still at HuffPo, I'd suggest beginning a pool on how long David's "engagement" lasts."

The fumes from Chief Numbnuts burning his fuchsia panties killed off three square miles of rain forest.

What we missed: Mansweater proposing marriage to Chief Numbnuts after the reunion show (never saw that romance coming), only to be turned down because Chief Numbnuts will never marry outside his tribe. Cherokee or no one!

Cheers darlings.

22 comments:

dave herman said...

I'll take a few choice comments from you Tallulah over nothing at all. Thanks for everything, your recaps have been consistently hilarious, and you will be missed.

Anonymous said...

The Phil underwear comment is just what I was thinking! Also, the reason Mansweater can never have a relationship with PhilE is because Phil said he already is in a relationship with a 130+year-old man, didn't he?

God, I hope we can find out if David does marry what's her name who appeared pissed off by the proposal.

Anonymous said...

Carolina is too hot for David-I don't think it is a match. I agree she looked annoyed by the proposal. Don't know if any of you watched the Ponderosa videos. Mike looks as hot as hell, and he is putting down his own looks on the video! Unreal.

Mary Ann said...

You're not still at huffpo? What will I do, where will I go (well, here, obviously)

I love your take on the show and you will be sorely missed.

PabloDiablo said...

Tallulah, I am so glad you posted about the finale. A few sentences from you is worth more than most FluffPo columnists. Agreed, Grant was looking scrump-diddly-icious and I liked how he wasn't having any of Jeff's kiss-and-make up nonsense with Rob.

Did his holiness JP begin to lose his cool when Amber and Rob's screeching offspring disrupted things a tiny bit? I thought I detected a note of annoyance.

Why do I get the impression that Mike may have realized that his time of survivor could be the perfect springboard to political office? All that hotness seems to disappear as soon as he brings up the God talk, but that could go a long way in certain parts of the country.

David - there really are fewer cringe inducing moments as those that involve public displays of marriage proposals. I agree with others when they say she looked mortified, but realizing that millions of people were watching she could do nothing but roll with it. For once I would love to see the recipient of this type of terror attack just say no, get up from their seat and run screaming out of camera view!

PacifistPanda said...

Tallulah! Did you hear? DARTH BAGGINS GOT HIS OWN TV SHOW!!!

It's called "Flipped", and involves him and his family swindling young bussiness owners in Texas.

What has this world come to?

Drumz said...

Glad to read this screed and am hoping your "grinding out" a finale recap but you just had to come up for air with a little dose of Grant.
I want to hear your take on Russell being knocked down a notch but still feeling somehow he had something to do with the failure of the Zapatera tribe besides the heavy hand of the pink easter bunny in the sky - all that prayin did wonders, huh?
And that supposed "bonifire" as in being bonifed (Holly Hunter (Penny) in Oh Brother Where Art Though), Chief Numbnuts paid how much to bring his ex teacher from training in to legitimize him... Why not someone that knew him as Sergeant WTF, the garbage wrangler, er maintenance engineer, but he had to have been the Head Pooper Scooper for the Secret Service Canine Brigade.

Anonymous said...

I was mocked by TM when I said the season was over when Matt revealed what a complete dumbass he was and did not get revenge on mariano upon his return from RI. Only to be voted out again at the next council.

biggest dumbass, season 22 - Grant or Matt? it's a tie. EVERYONE but mariano came in a close second.

even if rob had lost the final challenge, the zombie twins would have voted off Phil. That is how completely ridiculous this boring season was.

i'm glad phil got a check. without him there would have been no show. just prayers and dead air.

Natalie Sztern said...

So with all the 'FBI' folks in the audience was he or wasn't he??? What, they couldn't find anyone who actually worked with him they could only find a girl he went to school with? Well Trump would say at least there was a student who remembered him....

Was I the only one who thought the live engagement/girlfriend wanted to actually not accept or say yes? I did not actually hear her say 'yes' but I heard a lot of other nonsense....

Anonymous said...

Hey Tallulah, one of the HuffPo Community Moderators has weighed in on the 'Rice Wars' posting.
For me the cup is half full - we'll see you soon! DHMO

drb19810 said...

I got the impression that David wanted to back out of the proposal. Jeff kept goading him, and David seemed to be thinking "Jeff - let it drop, I've changed by mind", but Jeff knows ratings gold when he sees it. When he finally proposed to the women who used to on Survivor but nobody remembers, I could not believe the obsenity eruption. More bleeping than on Jerry Springer.

Anyway, good luck to them, I like David.

After watching this season, I think I'm smarter than I think I am. (to quote Natalie)

kiki said...

I read an interview with Mansweater where he said he wants to go on Amazing Race next, and that his girlfriend has gained a lot of weight and may not be physically able to do Race, and he may want to go with a different partner...so I was thinking...how funny would it be if he went with his crazy new squeeze? I would watch that!

MirrorGirl said...

Anonymous: Can you or someone else please post a link to the HuffPo "community moderator" who had something to say about Tallulah's Rice Wars post? Or at least give us the name so we can search for it. Thank you.

And Tallulah, Grant is beautiful, but not too bright. Had he simply decided to play the damn game, he might have had the pleasure of beating the "brilliant strategist" Rob. It's not hard to strategize brilliantly when you're playing against the brainless.

Anonymous said...

Madame T-

Short but sweet.

I have to ask: If it turns out to be Matt and Andrea returning next season, will you still recap the South Pacific: Pentecostal Island for us? Cheers.

Anonymous said...

Here's the link-

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tallulah-morehead/survivor-22-episode-10_b_852134.html

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous - I've reread the Rice Wars post and cannot find this community moderator comment that you are referring to except for the one on the page 1 that seems to have no more insight into why this was dropped. What are you referring to?

bluzkat said...

I couldn't find the moderator's comment either. i hope that whatever it says it is sufficiently grovelling to encourage Ms. TM to keep writing her insightful and merciless reviews.

Anyway, TM, thanks for taking the time to offer a few observations. Funny as always. Love your perspective.

What do you think about Rob and Russell getting their own reality shows? I know it's too much to hope that you'll skewer - errr, review - those fine moments in programming.

Anonymous said...

Grant, Mike & Matt...hottest males ever on Survivor. Boy would I ever like to teach that babe in the woods Matt a few facts of life, if you get my meaning!

Anonymous said...

Tallulah - you have to see this!

http://www.toronto.com/blog/post/686372--mark-burnett-tackles-the-bible

DHMO

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