Thursday, July 5, 2007
Officially in De Nile
I have NOT had an affair with Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa! Is that still his name? Or is he now Mayor Villa? Or Mayor Villa(raigosa)? Or The Mayor Formerly Known as Villaraigosa? Or Mayor Villa-Formerly-Raigosa? Or Mayor Villasalinas? Anyway, I never laid a tongue on him. Although now that I look at him, I wouldn't necessarily say no.
So his hootchy-moma's name is Mirthala Salinas. Remember when this sort of thing would ruin a candidate's career? But ever since we had a divorced president, morals in high office have gone to hell. More of the Moral Rot left over from the Reagan Administration.
Mirthala: not a name you hear a lot anymore, or ever. I bet even people named Mirthala don't hear the name much. We're a pretty Mirthless society. But as a news anchor, Mirthala Salinas is a pretty pathetic failure. The Los Angeles story of the year was literally in her hands! She had irrefutable proof of the identity of the Mayor's home-wrecking slut, and she got scooped! What a lousy reporter! Lois Lane wouldn't spit on her.
On another subject; I recently alerted you to the 100th Birthday of Emily Perry, who played Madge Allsop on Dame Edna's TV shows, and asked everyone to send her birthday greetings. First off, thank you to all of you who did send her a note. Secondly, to those of you who read that column and didn't send her anything, fuck you, dickwads.
On that sentimental note: here's a picture of Emily at her 100th birthday party. 40 people attended, Commander Humphries called from Australia, and Emily was undoubtedly Slut of the Ball.