Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Cat A. Chism

Little Ken Levine, in his lovely flog By Ken Levine, posted this silly questionnaire, and I thought my fans would like to know my answers. Then Little Douglas's Cousin Fred emailed him another one so I've answered it too. BTW, be sure and check in next Monday for my Oscar Ceremonies report.

• A-Available/Single? Available? Yes! Single? Not sure.
• B-Best Friend? The Headless Indian Brave. (Don't look so hurt, Douglas.)
• D-Drink Of Choice? Vodka Martini.
• E-Essential Items You Use Everyday? Wet bar. Vagina.
• F-Favorite Color? Zebra stripes
• G-Gummy Bears Or Worms? Gumming worms.
• H-Hometown? Pocahotass, Idaho.
• I-Indulgence? You'd have to ask the Nazi Pope for that. I'm not empowered to grant them.

• J-January Or February? I believe it's February at the moment.
• K-Kids & Their Names? Pattycakes. I miss you, my darling.
• L-Life Is Incomplete Without? A drink, sex, and another drink.
• M-Marriage Date? Well, usually date first, then marry, but I have been known to reverse that.
• N-Number Of Siblings? None.
• O-Oranges Or Apples? I think it's a mango.
• P-Phobias/Fears? The return of prohibition.
• Q-Favorite Quotes? "What'll you have?" & "Same again?"
• R-Reasons to Smile? Vodka. Penises.
• S-Season? Just a little salt. That's enough.
• T-Tag Three or Four People? The Morehead, the merrier.
• U-Unknown Fact About Me? I'm even more beautiful than I look.
• V-Vegetable you don't like? That pea over there. No, not that one. The one next to it. Yes, that one. He's a BASTARD!
• W-Worst Habit? Biting other people's fingernails.
• X-X-rays You've Had? Chest & libido. Also Clark Kent once checked out my breasts without asking, though I'd have said yes if he'd asked. He's super.
• Y-Your Favorite Food?
• Z-Zodiac Sign? Gemini.

Now here's Little Freddy's:
1. What time is it? Too late.
. What is your full name? Tallulah Clytemnestra Morehead. Yes, I'm TCM, just like that cable channel that runs my movies. How big a coincidence is that?
. What is the most recent movie that you've seen in a theater? Black Balled 5: Starpoker.
4. Seen a ghost? Seen one? I live with one!
5. Ever been to Alaska? Don't know. Why do you ask? I hear it's more frigid than Doris Day.
6. Ever been toilet papering? I toilet papered myself once, by accident.
7. Loved someone so much it made you cry? Yes, ME!
8. Been in a car accident? My liver was, but not the rest of me.
9. Favorite day of the week? April.
10. What color is your bedroom carpet? I have no idea. I've been face down on it enough times, but my lights were usually out. The real question is, does it match my drapes?
11. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? God. He's always forwarding lame jokes.
12. What do you do most often when you are bored? Masturbate.
13. Bedtime? Is it? I'll be up in a minute. I'm flogging.
14. What was the last book that you read? The 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis DeSade. Normally reading is boring, but this book always holds my interest. I realize I have so much left to do.
15. What are you listening to right now? Ice clinking.
16. How many tattoos do you have? 37. (I inherited them from my friend Lydia when she passed on, except for this one.)
17. How many pets do you have? He's not actually a pet; he just likes wearing that collar.
18. Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Depends on which one got more excited.
19. What would you like to accomplish before you die? Finish this drink.
20. Biggest Regret? The time I wasted sober.

Now don't be shy about contributing your answers on the comments page.

Cheers darlings.

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