Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Too Much Christmas.

Hot air balloon travel being, of course, synonymous with Christmas.
It's beginning to look TOO MUCH like Christmas,
Everywhere you go.
Thanksgiving was yesterday,
And now the streets look so gay,
You eyes will blur and you'll get vertigo.

A tasteful mansion of, I'm guessing, white people, given their propensity for all white lights. Love the Star of David. Neighborhood Jews are saying "Leave us out of this, okay?"

It's beginning to look too much like Christmas.
Gets worse after dark.
I really do hate to grouse,
But, my God, my neighbor's house,
Looks like Disney's park.

Have a Mickey Mouse Christmas.
Horrible tinsel,
And way too much chintz'll,
Make everyone wish they were dead.
By far the worst folly,
Are trees looking jolly
When all of their leaves have been shed.
And I will grant,
Another Santa,
Fills me up with dread.

Is this house being swallowed by the Time Vortex?
It's beginning to look too much like Christmas,
Please gouge out my eyes.
You'll soon see a Yule Log,
Blazing at the synagogue.
An Elf robot?
My brain lobotomize.

How do I get in without being electrocuted?

It's beginning to look too much like Christmas,
Soon my brain will split.
I hate to sound so gruff,
But I've already had enough,
Of this Yule bullshit.

"No, Scotty, I said the deflector shields!"
Because nothing says Christmas like Star Trek.

If you must decorate your exterior for the holidays, take a cue from Calvin.

Merry Annual Christian Cultural Incursion.
I will have BIG NEWS to post here on Christmas Day!
Cheers darlings.


Anonymous said...

Word from the underground has some believing that Talullah will announce her conversion to Roman Catholicism on Christmas Day.

Tallulah Morehead said...

The underground could not be more wrong. And you know what the announcement is anyway. I didn't divorce a studio mogul just to re-enslave myself to some Pope.

Natalie Sztern said...

I don't know of Xmas where you are; but the Quebecois Christmas is all about the drive up to the North of our mountains where snow covers all the grass and most of the trees and then to drive the inlet roads in the hinterlands where every house is lit up is reminiscent of a Disney Movie yet it is real.

No one should leave this world without experiencing a Quebec Christmas in the Laurentian Mountains.

Natalie Sztern said...

oh most importantly the hour of the day must be 5 o'clock pm or later at this time of year.

Tallulah Morehead said...

Well what we do in California is have a lovely BBQ, and give thanks we don't live where it snows.

GardenGuy said...

Relovingly, regiftingly, refundingly (after a Grinch stole all my delivered Christmas presents for my family off my front porch a few days ago -but who's saying Christmas isn't for giving and apparently taking too, right?), Christmas Wishes from the GardenGuy. Looking forward to the bigannouncement late today.

RCP said...

Tallulah - what is your big news? You're not remarrying, are you?