Or I would have gone for it, but that crazed delusional stalker who thinks she's married to him was there, undoubtedly carrying a concealed butcher knife. Huge is so afraid of her, that he even went through a "marriage ceremony" (wink, wink) with her a few years ago, to keep her from flipping out and going on a killing rampage. So deeply terrified of her is he, that he even lives with her, and has had several children by her, just to feed her fantasy of being "Mrs. Huge Jackman." The worst thing is, it's keeping us apart, and poor Huge pines for me. After all, the "Sexiest Man Alive" should be matched up with the Sexiest Woman Nearly-Alive. (Me)
When it came time to plant Huge's big feet in the cement (You know what they say about men with big feet. They have big socks.), in honor of Australia I went down under and checked out his antipodes. As you can plainly see in these next two pictures, being immortalized at the Chinese Theater really got Huge "excited."
What happened in this next picture? Well, as a 111 year old woman who is known to take a small libation in the evening, after large libations all day, and before serious heavy drinking all night, I am not always completely steady on my heels. Frankly, I'm at my best with my heels over my head, not under. So I slipped in the wet cement and fell against Huge while my hands were still a bit cement-smeared. Oops. It was an accident I tell you, an accident! That it then happened four more times is mere coincidence, and that "Mrs. Huge Jackman's" insane accusations that I was throwing myself at her "husband" merely shows how persistently delusional she is. After all, if I'd really done it deliberately, I'd have shredded his shirt.
It was a glamorous, old style day. Jay Leno was there hosting, but we enjoyed ourselves anyway. (Whenever I'm asked just how extremely old I am, I usually say, "I'm so old, I remember when Jay Leno was still funny.") In publicizing the imminent release of Huge's new film X-Men Origins: The Wolverino Man, (Don't get excited; "X-Men" is false advertising. It's not X rated at all, damn it!) which everyone on earth saw online three weeks ago (Odd way to release a film), this genuine, real thing, movie star from The Future (In Australia, it's always tomorrow. It's located in the future. It could be worse. It could be 1977 there, and 2009 here, like that crazy island on LOST.) was placed where he belongs, amongst Clark Gable and Spencer Tracy and Rock Hudson and Harrison Ford and Nelson Eddy and Fred Astaire. (Well, maybe not Nelson Eddy.) As the oldest star in California, I bestowed my blessings upon him. And inspected his muscles very closely. (A filthy job, but someone has to do it, so I unselfishly volunteered, even though it meant locking "Mrs. Jackman" in the projection booth.) Here his right bicep passes muster.